So...I went all crazy on my keyboard yesterday. I had a lot of thoughts and emotions running rampant through my head, and it was a relief to write them down and get it all off my chest. I felt better as soon as I hit "Publish", so thank you for your patience.
Moving on...
We met with the principal today, and Ty had a talk with CT's teacher (I didn't trust myself to talk to her and remain calm, I was still too anxious about our upcoming appointment with the principal).
According to CT's teacher, he has actually made some behavioral improvements over the past few weeks, which is definitely good news. Unfortunately, their relationship seems to have been materially damaged by having such a bad experience at the beginning of the school year.
The principal agrees with us. She's moving him to a different classroom with a new teacher, starting next week. She believes that CT needs and deserves to get a second chance, and she's willing to do that for him. However, she has made it clear that she will only do this once, and I completely agree with her conviction.
Basically, what we all agree on is the fact that CT's perception of the way his teacher sees him is irreversibly negative. She insists that she doesn't have a bad opinion of him, but whether or not that's true (I know I have my doubts, whether she's aware of it or not I think her perception of him is somewhat tainted by a negative bias.)
Anyway, it all comes down to this: CT thinks she sees him as a "bad kid", so that's how he's been behaving.
I know that my son isn't exactly an angel. I believe that my view of him is pretty realistic in that I know what his flaws are. However, I know without a doubt that he CAN pull out of the spiral of difficult behavior that he's been going through, and this classroom/teacher change can be the key to helping him do that.
Overall, I've been very impressed by and grateful for the way the school has worked with us in this case. They've been very understanding, and I'm very pleased with the way things have turned out.
I really am sorry that things didn't work out in his first class, and I know that this will be an adjustment for him. However, he's very excited to go to his new class and meet his new teacher, so I have high hopes for his future...
I'm glad the principal has agreed to give him a change.
ReplyDeleteIt's not Caden's fault that he's bored out of his mind. I noticed back in my tale end years in public education that schools have stopped raising the bar. They have stopped trying to achieve greatness in their students. In an effort to make the slow kids feel better about themselves they have dumbed down the entire system, and they're leaving the intelligent children, the future, the movers and shakers, bored. Not only that, they are putting a cap on their potential. Who wants to sit there and learn the same thing over and over again because the kid two seats ahead of you can't or won't learn his multiplication tables?
As for that teacher...
Well, I had a teacher who labeled me a "bad kid" once, and I found myself unable to learn anything from her. After one semester I left her class and took the class in a modular I could do at my own pace. I finished the entire year's class in two months. Teachers should inspire their charges, not seek to hold them back.
I've read both of these last posts, so this comment will serve for both of them.
ReplyDeleteI'm no parenting expert, but I see student behavior every day, and I can tell you that as long as you are involved as you are in his education, he will be fine. He would probably have been fine in the other class, despite the clash. As long as you are aware of what's going on, he'll learn what he needs to know.
Teachers don't like some students. It happens. Every year, there's a few I can't stand. But I still try to teach them what they need to know. The problem I have is that many of these students have no support at home, so they don't accomplish much at school, and they let personality clashes give them an excuse to fail. With you involved, that won't happen to Caden.
Still, it's probably best that the school is working with you and is moving him to a new room. Get him some challenging work. He should start reading Dickens or Austen or something at home just to stimulate his mind. :)
Chanel: It is definitely hard for him to stay engaged and interested when he has to wait around for the kids who don't learn as quickly as he does. However, we're going to talk to this new teacher about giving him some extra projects to keep his mind challenged and prevent boredom.
ReplyDeleteI agree that public education programs have taken a hit over the years. It's discouraging.
Moving Caden is the most healthy thing for him, I think. It's also a mercy for his teacher. She came very highly recommended, and I know a lot of students and parents really like her, sadly Caden just isn't one of those students. We just need to move forward now.
Brent: Thanks for the insight from a teacher's perspective.
I have a great deal of respect for teachers, they have to put up with a lot of crap from a lot of people on a daily basis. I don't know how they do it, but I'm definitely glad they do!
Caden is definitely happy that he doesn't have to go back to class with his old teacher anymore, so hopefully we can use this excitement as a springboard into a better school year for him.
Thanks also for the encouragement. Tyler and I certainly do try to be as involved as possible in Caden's education. It's so important, I think it's really tragic that more parents aren't more concerned about how their kids are doing in school!
PS Brent: Dickens and Austen? GENIUS! I'll put those on his list of bedtime stories! He NEEDS to be introduced into the amazing worlds that those two writers created!
ReplyDeleteSounds like the school is really supportive and keen to do the best they can. I agree that you can help challenge his reading and as long as you remain in communication with his teacher then you will get positive results.
ReplyDeleteI've seen this type of thing happen to my nephew. My sister finally ended up homeschooling all three of her children. The problem with school is if your child does not fit perfectly in the mold of what a child should be, the deem your child mentally or emotional deficient. The education system today is less about teaching and more about getting them to score high on tests. Just keep instilling confidence in your child and re-enforcing his strong points. He sounds like a great kid :)
ReplyDeleteMynx: They have definitely been great during this whole thing. We'll definitely be working to help keep him challenged and engaged as he continues to work through his behavioral issues.
ReplyDeleteVanyelmoon: I agree that schools have definitely moved towards more of a "get the kids through the system" way of doing things. I realize that adapting to each child's different way of doing things is difficult. I respect people who home-school their kids. Sometimes that is just what works best for some people.
He really is a great kid, he just needs to keep believing that about himself. :)
Dickens or Austen or Seuss or Rowling. It's all good.
ReplyDeleteBrent: True that! :)
ReplyDeleteIf you're doing the Austen thing, I totally vote for Pride and Prejudice first! He needs to become acquainted with the brilliance that is Mr. Darcy.
ReplyDeleteChanel: Love it!!! He definitely has a great example of wondrousness in the great and fabulous Darcy!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like things are moving in the right direction. I don't know what grade Caden is in, but I would guess elementary? It was good of his teacher to recognize what was best for him. As a teacher, I am still surprised when parents think that schools or teachers want to see students fail. I'm sure some teachers don't care quite as much as others, but I doubt any of them purposefully try to do harm. Hope things will go great with the new teacher :)
ReplyDeleteAlessandra: I think things will be alright. I definitely don't think Caden's teacher wasn't trying, and she certainly didn't want to see him fail, I just don't think she knew HOW to help him. Her teaching style just wasn't working for him. I'm just glad that everything has worked out so far. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's so fantastic the school is working with you! Keep us updated on how he's doing with the new teacher. I think you've done a terrific job trying to see all sides of the situation.
ReplyDeleteNicki: The school has really been great through this whole thing.
ReplyDeleteSo far, so good. Caden loves his new class and his new teacher. Here's hoping he'll adjust quickly and get into some better behavior habits. :)