So...I've had a bit of a slap to the face recently.
One of my classes has been studying the process of listening effectively. Mainly, effective listening involves making a real effort to be completely present in the conversation. This, of course, means keeping your thoughts from wandering and doing everything you can to make sure you know what's going on.
The thing that REALLY gave me the punch to the gut was the section on different forms of "non-listening."
Here I was, going through 28 years of my life thinking that I'm a pretty good listener. Not so! I am apparently chronically guilty of the non-listening methods called "pseudolistening" and "monopolizing".
Pseudolistening is basically just pretending to listen. You're looking at the person that's trying to talk to you, you're nodding your head, you might even be saying a few "hmm's" and "yeah's" so they think you're following their every word avidly. In reality, your mind is in a far away time and place, thinking about what you're going to have for lunch, or what happened on "Hell's Kitchen" last night. So when you finally do come back to earth and start paying attention again, you realize that the person sitting across from you has been talking for a full five minutes and is now waiting for you to give a response to the very specific question they've just asked.
Me? Guilty as the guiltiest sinner when it comes to this one. Crap!
Monopolizing is even worse. It's the tendency to sit listening to a person talking about something, waiting impatiently for them to stop talking so you can dazzle them with your brilliance. You know how it goes, they're talking about what a difficult day they've been having and you jump in and say: "You think THAT'S bad, just listen to what MY day has been like!..." This can also involve changing the subject from whatever they're talking about to something that is more interesting to you. Another form of monopolizing is interrupting the other person to interject your own opinions and (usually unasked for) advice.
Do I feel like a complete jerk? Yes. Yes I do. It makes me wonder what people have really been thinking of me while I've been sitting there, jawing away about me and my life rather than allowing them to just talk to me.
Lesson learned? I REALLY need to keep tabs on myself when I'm having conversations with people. Am I allowing my thoughts to float away to a far off and distance space? Or am I becoming what Brian Regan calls a "Me-Monster" and taking over the entire conversation?
Either way, I intend to put in whatever effort is necessary to change my obnoxious ways.
PS: Here's a youtube video of Brian Regan, so you'll know what I was talking about with the "Me-Monster" reference. It's amazingly accurate. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QvSoRQrVJg
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Awww...I'm Blushing! :)
Today I discovered that I am the proud recipient of another blog award. I'm stunned, shocked, and completely honored. 
The rules are thus:
1) Thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award (I will in no way insist on this one)
2) Tell 7 things about yourself
3) Pass the award on to 15 other bloggers
4) Contact the other bloggers and tell them about the award
So...here it goes:
THANK YOU again Mynx at Dribble. http://just-tish.blogspot.com/ (For some reason I can't get the actual links to work, but you should totally check out her blog. She's fabulous!)
Seven Things About Myself:
1) I make the world's best cookie dough. I know not everyone likes unbaked cookie dough, but if you ever want to try the best stuff ever, just give me a call.
2) You may not know it from my blog, but I'm a VERY reserved person when you first meet me. I'm quite uncomfortable in crowded places and will often hang back and keep to myself unless I'm approached by someone else. I guess my mindset is: "If they want to talk to me, they will." It may not be rational, but it's me.
3) I LOVE watching Chef Gordon Ramsey yelling at those poor saps who volunteer to work for him in "Hell's Kitchen". That show is one of my guiltiest reality show pleasures. (Don't mock me!)
4) I love to sing. I was a choir geek in high school, singing in the "elite", audition only show choirs. I know, yay me, right?
5) I HATE eating fish (all kinds), bananas (even the word makes me cringe), tomatoes (plain, raw ones), and onions (but I will use them for flavor while cooking).
6) I have written and finished a novel. Thus far, however, I have been too much of a chicken to take any serious action toward getting it published. It's going to happen. It is. I owe it to myself to at least try, right?
7) I am obsessed with purses. I can't seem to stay away from them! It's a sad addiction, but a very strong one.
Now, I am happy to pass this award on to other bloggers, however I just can't come up with 15 of them today. So I'll list a few that I particularly enjoy:
She's a great writer, she's funny, and she reminds me of myself in a number of ways. (Yes, that's intended as a compliment) That's right, she's Chanel at "Fabulously Neurotic": http://fabulousneurosis.blogspot.com/
Next on the list is Nicki at "The Loaded Handbag". She's got a great sense of humor, and she's a great photographer to boot. http://www.theloadedhandbag.com/
Last, but not least, is Alexa at "Looseleaf Writing". She's a college writing teacher, and she always gives me something to think about. (Yes, that is a good thing) http://looseleafwriting.blogspot.com/
I guess I will divide the 15 available spots between these three by awarding them 5 times each. Don't spend them all in the same place ladies! ;)
The rules are thus:
1) Thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award (I will in no way insist on this one)
2) Tell 7 things about yourself
3) Pass the award on to 15 other bloggers
4) Contact the other bloggers and tell them about the award
So...here it goes:
THANK YOU again Mynx at Dribble. http://just-tish.blogspot.com/ (For some reason I can't get the actual links to work, but you should totally check out her blog. She's fabulous!)
Seven Things About Myself:
1) I make the world's best cookie dough. I know not everyone likes unbaked cookie dough, but if you ever want to try the best stuff ever, just give me a call.
2) You may not know it from my blog, but I'm a VERY reserved person when you first meet me. I'm quite uncomfortable in crowded places and will often hang back and keep to myself unless I'm approached by someone else. I guess my mindset is: "If they want to talk to me, they will." It may not be rational, but it's me.
3) I LOVE watching Chef Gordon Ramsey yelling at those poor saps who volunteer to work for him in "Hell's Kitchen". That show is one of my guiltiest reality show pleasures. (Don't mock me!)
4) I love to sing. I was a choir geek in high school, singing in the "elite", audition only show choirs. I know, yay me, right?
5) I HATE eating fish (all kinds), bananas (even the word makes me cringe), tomatoes (plain, raw ones), and onions (but I will use them for flavor while cooking).
6) I have written and finished a novel. Thus far, however, I have been too much of a chicken to take any serious action toward getting it published. It's going to happen. It is. I owe it to myself to at least try, right?
7) I am obsessed with purses. I can't seem to stay away from them! It's a sad addiction, but a very strong one.
Now, I am happy to pass this award on to other bloggers, however I just can't come up with 15 of them today. So I'll list a few that I particularly enjoy:
She's a great writer, she's funny, and she reminds me of myself in a number of ways. (Yes, that's intended as a compliment) That's right, she's Chanel at "Fabulously Neurotic": http://fabulousneurosis.blogspot.com/
Next on the list is Nicki at "The Loaded Handbag". She's got a great sense of humor, and she's a great photographer to boot. http://www.theloadedhandbag.com/
Last, but not least, is Alexa at "Looseleaf Writing". She's a college writing teacher, and she always gives me something to think about. (Yes, that is a good thing) http://looseleafwriting.blogspot.com/
I guess I will divide the 15 available spots between these three by awarding them 5 times each. Don't spend them all in the same place ladies! ;)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Is There a Doctor in the House?
My eyes have gone completely insane. 
I have no idea what is causing these symptoms, but I'm afraid to look them up on the internet for fear of finding out that it's something incurable or dangerous. Anyway, if anyone out there knows anything about eye conditions...here's what's been going on:
Things are pretty normal, until one day my eyes start to get a little sore. Suddenly, they both break out and the "whites" go from white to red. (I basically look like a crack addict who hasn't slept in weeks) Over the next few days, my eyes continue to hurt a LOT, feeling like they will explode from all the pressure, and the redness slowly dissipates. For those first few days, my eyes are VERY sensitive to light.
After those first few days, the vision in one or both of my eyes is rather fuzzy, especially in the light, but I am able to focus quite well on the pages of books, and other things that I am viewing close-up. The pain is gone by now, but my vision is still fuzzy. It kind of feels like there's a film on my eye that I can't get rid of, which is making everything all blurry.
So...anyone have any idea what's going on here? I'm not entirely sure I want to know. It's happened before, and it cleared up for several weeks before the whole "red demon eyes" happened and the cycle started all over again.
I'm pretty sure that this whole thing is a combination of stress, eye-strain (caused by the fact that my eyes have been taking a lot more abuse since I started going back to school), and lack of sleep. Sinus pressure may have something to do with it, too.
Anyone else have any ideas? I'm kind of losing it here.
I have no idea what is causing these symptoms, but I'm afraid to look them up on the internet for fear of finding out that it's something incurable or dangerous. Anyway, if anyone out there knows anything about eye conditions...here's what's been going on:
Things are pretty normal, until one day my eyes start to get a little sore. Suddenly, they both break out and the "whites" go from white to red. (I basically look like a crack addict who hasn't slept in weeks) Over the next few days, my eyes continue to hurt a LOT, feeling like they will explode from all the pressure, and the redness slowly dissipates. For those first few days, my eyes are VERY sensitive to light.
After those first few days, the vision in one or both of my eyes is rather fuzzy, especially in the light, but I am able to focus quite well on the pages of books, and other things that I am viewing close-up. The pain is gone by now, but my vision is still fuzzy. It kind of feels like there's a film on my eye that I can't get rid of, which is making everything all blurry.
So...anyone have any idea what's going on here? I'm not entirely sure I want to know. It's happened before, and it cleared up for several weeks before the whole "red demon eyes" happened and the cycle started all over again.
I'm pretty sure that this whole thing is a combination of stress, eye-strain (caused by the fact that my eyes have been taking a lot more abuse since I started going back to school), and lack of sleep. Sinus pressure may have something to do with it, too.
Anyone else have any ideas? I'm kind of losing it here.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Thank You Mynx!
Today I got a lovely surprise as I logged on to check the posts of one of my favorite bloggers, Mynx of "Dribble." She was my very first follower, and I have really enjoyed getting to know her through her blog.
Anyway, Mynx's post today awarded me a Blog Award and it made me happy. Now, in order to accept the award, I need to list 10 things that I like, and then pass it on to 10 bloggers that I believe deserve to be awarded.
10 Things I Love (In no particular order):
-My Family. They mean the world to me. No one will ever understand me or unconditionally love me more than my family does.
-Reading. I don't have much time for it nowadays, but there are few things in life that will ever give me more enjoyment than picking up a good book and losing myself in it.
-Grandma's House. There are few things in life that are better than a visit to Grandma's house. Surrounded by family, good food, and music. What else can I ask for?
-Chocolate. Ice cream, cookies, candy bars, truffles...you name it. Chocolate makes everything seem just a little bit better.
-Laughing. Especially with my husband. At 1 am. When we're both exhausted and EVERYTHING seems to be completely hilarious.
-Watching Chick Flicks. Whether it's with my dear husband, or my best gal pal that's stuck with me since high school, nothing beats a good Chick Flick night.
-The Feeling I Get When I Accomplish Something. Even if it's something small, I always get a deep sense of satisfaction when I get to cross stuff off my "To Do List".
-That head-to-toe tingly feeling that I get when my husband kisses my eyelids.
-Music. Whether I'm playing it on my guitar, singing with my family, or blasting it on my MP3 player, music will always reach me on a very deep level.
-Hugs. Yes, I am a firm believer in the power of hugs. Sometimes, whether they know it or not, people really do just need a hug.
My Blog Picks:
Nicki at http://theloadedhandbag.blogspot.com/
Chanel at http://fabulousneurosis.blogspot.com/
Elizabeth at http://forgivingtrinity.blogspot.com/
Alexa at http://looseleafwriting.blogspot.com/
Charles at http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com/
Tyler at http://www.rivetedhistory.blogspot.com/
Scott at http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com/
Mynx at http://just-tish.blogspot.com/
Jera at http://uniquenessisoverrated.blogspot.com/
The Empress at http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/
They are all wonderful in their own way, and I read them all on a regular basis because they make me smile.
I don't know if I'm allowed to "tag back" on Mynx, but I'll make up for it by excusing her from having to pass this on again. :)
Thanks everyone for making my blogging life such a great experience.
Anyway, Mynx's post today awarded me a Blog Award and it made me happy. Now, in order to accept the award, I need to list 10 things that I like, and then pass it on to 10 bloggers that I believe deserve to be awarded.
10 Things I Love (In no particular order):
-My Family. They mean the world to me. No one will ever understand me or unconditionally love me more than my family does.
-Reading. I don't have much time for it nowadays, but there are few things in life that will ever give me more enjoyment than picking up a good book and losing myself in it.
-Grandma's House. There are few things in life that are better than a visit to Grandma's house. Surrounded by family, good food, and music. What else can I ask for?
-Chocolate. Ice cream, cookies, candy bars, truffles...you name it. Chocolate makes everything seem just a little bit better.
-Laughing. Especially with my husband. At 1 am. When we're both exhausted and EVERYTHING seems to be completely hilarious.
-Watching Chick Flicks. Whether it's with my dear husband, or my best gal pal that's stuck with me since high school, nothing beats a good Chick Flick night.
-The Feeling I Get When I Accomplish Something. Even if it's something small, I always get a deep sense of satisfaction when I get to cross stuff off my "To Do List".
-That head-to-toe tingly feeling that I get when my husband kisses my eyelids.
-Music. Whether I'm playing it on my guitar, singing with my family, or blasting it on my MP3 player, music will always reach me on a very deep level.
-Hugs. Yes, I am a firm believer in the power of hugs. Sometimes, whether they know it or not, people really do just need a hug.
My Blog Picks:
Nicki at http://theloadedhandbag.blogspot.com/
Chanel at http://fabulousneurosis.blogspot.com/
Elizabeth at http://forgivingtrinity.blogspot.com/
Alexa at http://looseleafwriting.blogspot.com/
Charles at http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com/
Tyler at http://www.rivetedhistory.blogspot.com/
Scott at http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com/
Mynx at http://just-tish.blogspot.com/
Jera at http://uniquenessisoverrated.blogspot.com/
The Empress at http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/
They are all wonderful in their own way, and I read them all on a regular basis because they make me smile.
I don't know if I'm allowed to "tag back" on Mynx, but I'll make up for it by excusing her from having to pass this on again. :)
Thanks everyone for making my blogging life such a great experience.
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