Someone Save Me From My Own Anxiety!!!

I'm freaking out.

No, it's not the Statistics Test I was ranting about the other day. I actually talked to my professor about the big screw-up I made, and it turns out that I was closer to the right solution than I thought. I just missed a step. Luckily, he gives credit for the parts of the question you get right, so I just might not have TOTALLY screwed up on that one.

What I am freaking out about is my son. Yes, CT is pretty much at the forefront of my thoughts these days, and every time I think about his situation my heart starts going a mile a minute.

Most of you know by now that CT is in First Grade. You may also know that he is a very VERY intelligent boy. He has always been leaps and bounds ahead of his peers in mental maturity. He learns things quickly and effortlessly, it's like breathing for him. He doesn't even have to try to learn something, he just picks it up instantly. He has always amazed me, and everyone he's ever met. He makes friends with kids of all ages, both younger and older than himself. And by older than himself, I mean teenagers and adults. He's a natural leader, kids just seem to congregate around him, and he loves being around people. He's curious and inquisitive, always asking questions and wanting to know more about things. All in all, he's an incredible kid.

So why am I so anxious and upset, you ask? Well, I'll tell you as well as I can.

CT, although extremely bright, also seems to be a bit of a troublemaker in class. He talks to his friends, gets up out of his seat without permission, and just generally makes his teacher's life very difficult. At least, that's what she's been telling us since school started back in August.

His teacher has actually had the school psychologist come and observe CT in class, monitoring his behavior. The psychologist sent home an evaluation for Ty and me to fill out, to test for ADHD, at his teacher's request. The way these evaluations work is that the child's parents fill one out, and his teacher fills one out. Then the two sets of data are analyzed and set against national statistics and standards. Combining this information with her in-class observations, the school psychologist has come up with a definitive conclusion:

CT does NOT have ADHD. In fact, in all of the times that she has observed CT in class, this psychologist has never once seen any kind of behavior that she would consider to be a serious problem. She says that he does show some very active tendencies, but that he is very able to focus on his work. He actually does his work very quickly, and moves on to the next step before the teacher has even finished talking the other kids through the first step. This, according to the psychologist's observations, causes a great deal of frustration in CT's teacher. CT starts acting up during these times when he's finished the work, and is being forced to wait for the other kids to catch up.

The thing that has me the most anxious, however, is the fact that CT's teacher seems to resent him, deeply. I noticed this after CT had been in her class for no more than one week. He's giving her a hard time, and she has completely written him off as a troublemaker and a "bad kid". She won't listen to me when I try to tell her that this is not the case. CT is not, nor has he ever been, the type of kid that seeks after negative attention. Whenever I try to talk to her about my son and the type of kid I know he is, she just shakes her head and dismisses my comments without a second thought. Her mind is made up, CT is down in her book as a bad kid, and she will take that negative perception to her grave.

The psychologist has noticed this too. She actually told us that CT's teacher's responses on the ADHD evaluation are negative. In fact, her responses are so deeply negative, that her results are not considered to be valid.

The psychologist and I have both tried to explain to this teacher that CT's behavior is linked to boredom, but she won't listen to either of us. She bristled at our comments, and immediately dismissed them. To me, she said: "There is no reason why he should be bored in this class. He needs to get engaged and find interest." She had a similar reaction to the psychologist's recommendations. Her opinion of my son is fixed, immovable, and extremely negative.

Now you can see what I'm so anxious about. Sending CT to school is basically sending him into a dragon's den of negativity. It's become a toxic environment for him. Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? A child is going to live up to the expectations that we as adults are setting for them. If CT's teacher believes he is a bad kid, he will eventually become that kid. Ty and I have no intention of allowing that to happen.

We have set up an appointment with the school's principal for tomorrow afternoon. We are going to present our case to her, and get CT removed from this teacher's classroom. He deserves the chance to be in a positive learning environment. We are also going to ask her about testing him for a gifted and talented program, one that will be more challenging and engaging for him. If he qualifies, we will probably go that route.

Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm trying to make his teacher into a villain. I know she's doing the best she can, I just don't think that she is a good match for my son. Their personalities clash too much, and they have since day one.

Everyone, please send positive thoughts our way so we can get CT into a situation where he can learn and be seen for the great kid that he really is.

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

Have a nice day.