The Summer is nearly over. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
I have very much enjoyed the last 3 1/2 months of having nothing to worry about but spending time with my adorable kids and reading as many books as I can cram into my few unoccupied hours. In just a couple of weeks, I'll be back in school again, and all that leisure will be gone until December. I often feel so guilty being a mother AND a full-time student because my thoughts are always so scattered, and often preoccupied with homework and everything that I need to be getting done for school. I sometimes feel as though I'm not giving my kids all the attention they deserve.
But I also feel so...alive when I'm going to school. Yes I'm a nerd, and I'm proud of it too. I LOVE my classes. I love learning and growing, and knowing that I am finally working toward something that has always meant so much to me. I'm addicted to education. I want to go on and complete graduate school through a doctorate degree. I. Love. It.
And...now that I have officially graduated with an Associate Degree in General Studies, (graduated with University Honors, thank you very much), I feel really motivated to finish my Bachelor's Degree. I'm halfway there! It also helps that I've finally settled on a major, and I intend to really stick with it this time. (Although if I did change my mind again, Ty would have something to laugh about for months to come!)
What is the final verdict on my major, you ask? A Bachelor of Science in Psychology with a double minor in Communications and Neuroscience. Yep. Wish me luck!
Our son will also be starting school on the same day as his parents. He'll be going to 1st grade. This means he will be gone ALL DAY LONG. It's so weird to think about this. I mean, I rarely see him during the day because he's always out playing with friends anyway, but this feels different somehow. It doesn't help that I will literally be putting his life into the hands of people I barely know.
He's going to be having lunch at school for the first time in his life, and he has a severe peanut allergy. Sending him to school, knowing that he will be in a cafeteria surrounded by kids with peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter cookies, and who knows what other peanut products scares me half to death. Yes, he will have an epi-pen at school with him. And yes he knows how to avoid peanuts, but still I worry.
He's my son, and he means the world to me. I just can't handle the idea of something happening to him when I'm not there to protect him. (In case you couldn't tell, I am a paranoid, overprotective mother. But seriously, who can afford NOT to be like that these days?)
Okay, I think I'm done rambling for now. This is just all of the stuff that has been on my mind lately. Thanks for your patience. We now return you to your regularly scheduled weekend. :)
It is hard to let go even a little when they first go to school, but it is only the beginning of lots of letting go. Dont feel guilty about loving school. Better you be a happy mum than a resentful disgruntled mum.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is the quality of the time you spend that is important in the end.
I'd like to go back to school. I also studied psychology.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how we trust teachers to take care of our kids all day long when we (as parents) don't know them from Adam. Then we turn around and call them lazy and greedy because all they want is tenure...sorry, that thought went in a different direction. Anyway, don't worry about your kid being gone all day. He's in good hands.
ReplyDeleteAh, that's what an Epi Pen is...
ReplyDeleteThey do have specially trained aid dogs for children that are specifically for helping prevent peanut allergy reactions. I read an article about them a few years ago. Something you could look into? Service animals are great!
Mynx: Thanks for the kind words, lovely lady. Letting go is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with as a mother, and I know that this is only the beginning. It's sad, but it's also wonderful to watch them grow and become independent individuals.
ReplyDeleteI know it's far better to be happy and busy than resentful and filled with regret. I just need to take a few minutes to enjoy my kids during the day and do homework at night while they're asleep. :)
Bryan: Going back to school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's easy to say "Now's just not a good time. I'll just wait for now..." There's never going to be a perfect time to go back to school. So...I say go for it if you can. It's well worth it.
Psychology is amazing. I just can't get enough of it. I'm looking forward to studying it in more depth.
Chanel: Yep. That's the epi-pen. (I think I tried to explain it in more depth when I responded to your comment on that older post). It's an amazing device, but it can also be quite dangerous. I'm just glad Caden's injuries were so minor in comparison to what they could have been.
I didn't know they had dogs for that! How interesting! I'd like to look into it, even if it's just to satisfy my curiosity. :)
Brent: It is interesting how we expect so much from our kids' teachers, even when we don't know them at all. But I really do try NOT to be one of "those" parents that look at teachers as the enemy. Honestly, I am amazed at their dedication. I know I could never do what they do, and I really try to be supportive and work WITH them rather than just stand on the sidelines and blame them for everything that might go wrong.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he'll be in good hands. Most of this anxiety should go away after a week or two of him being back in school. :)
There is nothing wrong with being paranoid and overprotective I was the same when my girls started school and none of them had allergies that I had to worry about, you know they will be fine but it is natural to worry it comes with being a loving and caring parent.......
ReplyDeleteJo-Anne: Thanks. I'm glad I'm not the only paranoid worrier out there. Sometimes I feel like I'm a little crazy with the overprotectiveness, but maybe you're right. It just comes with the territory. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the Psychology major. That's what I had and I loved the classes...then again I am not using my degree at all. haha.
ReplyDeleteWanted to let you know that I have moved from Blogger to WordPress. I wanted to leave you my link since JewelsTurning30 is no more.
new blog is http://accordingtojewels.com/
Jewels: Thanks! I love the classes too. We'll see where I end up taking it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you told me where to find you now! I was wondering what happened to you. :)
"Psychology with a double minor in Communications and Neuroscience. " HOLY CRAP, MISS SMARTYPANTS! I feel smarter just knowing you.
ReplyDeleteAnd that peanut allergy WOULD be absolutely terrifying. But heading off to first grade? That's so exciting!
Nicki: Yep. I'm a friggin' genius. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe peanut allergy is pretty scary, but he's usually very smart about it. He knows what peanuts look/smell/taste like, and he's been really careful. He's so excited to start first grade, mostly because he gets more recess time while he's there.
Hi! Blog-hopper, here.
ReplyDeletePsychology is the subject I studied. I have to tell you, its helped my writing more than I think an English would have. Good luck with your major. :)
David: Welcome! I'm very glad your blog-hopping has brought you here. :)
ReplyDeleteI love psychology. And you're right, it can apply to just about anything, especially writing. Thanks for the good wishes! I'll need them, I'm sure!
You are braver than me. There is no way I could go back to the classroom. I tried a few years ago, and somehow I just couldn't summon up the proper respect for professors who don't actually have leave their sheltered academics and wander out into the real world to earn their money.
ReplyDeleteEither that or I was just too lazy to do the homework.
Doug: Yeah, going back to school is something that you have to REALLY want in order to be successful at it. I'm a proud nerd, so going back to school is a perfect fit for me. :)
ReplyDeleteI often get bitten by the "too lazy to do the homework" bug, but then I'm filled with guilt and worry about getting a good grade in the class, so I get it all done and turned in on time anyway, no matter how stressed I get by doing it all at the last minute. Yep. Good times.