Somehow, the conversation turned to Donald Trump and his extraordinary comb-over. My uncle then chimed in with a story from his time on the cruise ship, talking about one of the passengers he encountered. Apparently, this man was entirely bald on top, but the rest of his hair was really long. This man apparently used bobby pins to sculpt what was left of his hair into a swirling hair-beanie on the top of his shiny, bald head. Yikes, right?
This, of course, started an extensive conversation about comb-overs in general. The basic gist of the conversation was that they are utterly ridiculous. If a man is bald, he should embrace it. To me, at least, even the shiniest bald head says: "This guy is bald" but then my mind quickly moves on to something else. A comb-over on the other hand screams "BALD AND SELF-CONSCIOUS!!!"
Anyway, while this conversation is going on, I look over at my mom (she was sitting across the table from me and my uncle). Her face is bright red and she's gesturing, subtly but urgently in an attempt to get our attention. No one caught on quickly enough though, and the conversation ran its course. The bill came, and we all stood up to leave. That's when we noticed what Mom had been so desperately trying to tell us about.
Sitting in the booth right next to ours, in a position that would have allowed him to hear every word of our conversation, was a man with one of those REALLY bad comb-overs. I'm talking about the kind where the combed-over hair didn't completely reach the other side of his bald "patch" (and by "patch," I of course mean an entire barren wilderness). As we abashedly walk past him and his wife, we hear her say: "They think they're funny, don't they?"
Very embarrassing, but hey, maybe we did that guy a favor in the end. Comb-overs are one of the worst decisions any balding man can make. Unless he plans to have surgery to replace his hair, he needs to accept that it's gone. Cut what's left of that stuff into a style that suits you. Buzz it, trim it, or go the whole hog and pull out the Bic razors. Anything but a comb-over!
Comb-overs are gross and creepy! I wish someone would just shave Donald Trump's head once and for all. Seriously, who do those guys think they are fooling? They should either own the chrome dome or get one of those 'hair systems for men'.
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When hubby started to go bald, he seemed to be developing a combover. I quickly sorted that with clippers and have been cutting his hair ever since. Keep telling him that I think his bald head is very sexy. (And maybe I do have a thing for a baldy)
ReplyDeleteFunny, I believe mullets hold a close second to comb-overs..
ReplyDeleteOh.. and the really bad hair plug thingy's .
Hopefully the guy who overheard your conversation wakes up and "bics" it.
~Pavla
thedramaticcomedyofmylife.blogspot.com
Ranter's Box: Gross and creepy are the perfect words to describe comb-overs! And I agree, someone needs to tackle Trump with a pair of buzzers and put us all out of our misery!
ReplyDeleteMynx: Way to take charge and save your husband from himself! It's people like you that help to make this world a better place for all of us!
Pavla: Mullets are definitely on my list of "Things you must NEVER do to your hair". Hair plugs are up there on the list as well. I too hope that we made a difference in that man's life. I'd hand him the razor myself if I knew who he was.
Oh mah Gah dude! I always say this! Why do men leave the little hair on the side and in the back. Just shave all the shit off already!!!!! They would look SO much better.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you really think the bag is fugly? Damn I was thinking of selling them online. LMAO.... You broke mah entrepreneurial heart.
Shoot! I didn't want to crush your entrepreneurial dreams Annah! That bag is just SO not my style. I go for the simpler designs. The red reptile skin look just isn't me. I'd look like a total doofus carrying that thing around. Trust me.
ReplyDelete(PS, I think you should rig the drawing so Charles wins, and then make him post a picture of himself wearing that bag. Genius? YES!) :)
My boyfriend is bald(ing) and he's totally hot. It's just a matter of keeping it very short. As he says, "when it's long enough for me to get bedhead, it's too long."
ReplyDeleteI like it buzzed very short, but not totally shaved to the shiny pate.
Comeovers are NEVER ok!
Alexa: Your boyfriend definitely has a good way of dealing with his balding head. My own husband is in exactly the same situation. He does the same thing, buzzing his hair very short on a regular basis. I like it, it looks good. I think I would have had to disown him if he'd tried the comb-over route.
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