Brace Yourself...

I posted this rant several months ago, before most of you read my blog. Now you all get to endure its awesomeness again, because I'm still pissed off at the morons at Kit Kat's advertising department. Pull it together Kit Kat!!!
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Okay, I started a little rant about this on facebook, but that tiny status update wasn't very satisfying so...here we go.

I am sick and tired of commercials where I am forced to listen to the nauseating sounds of people eating. The most prominent culprits on the radar right now: Kit Kat, Light & Fit, and Dairy Queen.



I remember Kit Kat's commercials from the 90's. Happy people running around, singing that "Gimme a break" song. That wasn't annoying, in fact it's one of the most memorable candy bar jingles ever. Now, some schmuck at their advertising firm thought: "Hey I know what we can do, let's take our famous jingle and use the sounds of people chewing and smacking their lips as instruments." Morons! All this commercial makes me want to do is change the channel, hit the fast forward button on the DVR, or mute the sound altogether. Because of this stupid commercial, I cringe every time I look at a Kit Kat bar. Gimme a break, people! Seriously!



The Light & Fit commercial is just as bad, and less clever. It shows two women sitting in a room. Apparently, they're strangers to each other. One of them is humming and slurping on a cup of prominently displayed Light & Fit yogurt, like a freaking toddler--no, toddlers are more sophisticated--it's more like a St. Bernard. The other woman looks over and expresses her surprise at the number of calories in the yogurt. I don't care that that cup of yogurt supposedly has less calories than any other, all I can think about is how annoying that woman/St. Bernard is. No thanks, Light & Fit.



Dairy Queen is also doing something stupid with their advertising these days. Now, I've enjoyed a Blizzard or two in my lifetime, but these commercials have ruined them for me. There's some crazy family that's driving around, tailgating a Blizzard truck. Most of the commercials haven't been too bad, until now. Just tonight I was exposed to one of the most disgusting displays I've seen in quite a while. Apparently, this insane family has parked their van to sleep for the night. For whatever reason, their teenage kids are able to fall asleep with frozen dairy treats in their hands, so the parents lean their seats back and start eating their kids' Blizzards. Not only am I forced to listen to them smacking and slurping on the ice cream, they're also talking with their mouths full. Really? This is supposed to make me want to go out and buy a Blizzard? What are these people on, anyway?

What can I say? I am appalled. Am I the only one, though? It it just me that gets so annoyed by these commercials that I refuse to even entertain the idea of wasting money on the products they advertise? Maybe I'm just stubborn, but I've got to stick it to the man somehow, right?