The Epiphany of the Century...

So I mentioned in my last post that I had discovered something pretty groundbreaking. It occurred to me mid-conversation with my friend, Leesh, a couple of months ago.

Have you ever REALLY considered the true implications behind the words "Nerd," "Geek," and "Dweeb"? Neither have I, until that fateful night. What follows is an account of what I discovered that night.

NERD: This is a word that used to carry a lot of negative connotations. These were the "undesirables", those people who wore thick glasses and pocket protectors. The kids who wore their pants with suspenders "Urkel-style" (Am I dating myself too much with that reference?) HOWEVER, in later years, the word "Nerd" has come to take on a more positive meaning. Nerds are the really smart people. They're the ones who have invented all of the extraordinary technology that the human race has become utterly dependent on.

Less specifically, I choose to define today's "nerds" as people who are really smart, love learning, and work hard to achieve their goals--whatever they may be. They're the thinkers, the innovators. You know, the Steve Jobs' of the world.

Most of these people are very socially functional, and quite well-liked by their peers. They are highly independent, and self-sufficient.

GEEK: Although it is possible for a geek and a nerd to overlap in a single person, I am separating the terms here for purposes of clarity. The geek is a person who is HIGHLY knowledgeable and passionate about something very specific. They aren't always successful academically, but if you ask one of them about their particular area of interest, get ready for the lecture of your life! You can find out more than you ever needed (or wanted) to know.

These specific interests are what give geeks their more official titles. Take for example the "Star Trek Geek". This particular person could take you from the beginning to the end of the Star Trek franchise and tell you all about every captain of the Enterprise, which one is the best (in their opinion), the actors who portrayed every main and minor character, and give you a point-by-point breakdown of every episode including plot twists and all the subtle nuances of every scene. Oh, and they could probably tell you about all of this in fluent Klingon.

There are all sorts of geeks out there. "Star Wars" geeks, computer geeks, "Lord of the Rings" geeks, "Twilight" geeks, conspiracy theorist geeks, gun geeks, paintball geeks, comic book geeks. And many of these different groups can actually be subdivided into even more specific groups. Comic book geeks can break off into their own favorite characters/stories...you get what I'm saying here.

A majority of geeks are self-sufficient. These interests are purely "extra-curricular". A geek often has a good job and a healthy social life. This label does not have to be a negative one.

DWEEB: Now here is where we enter the negative connotations. A dweeb is someone who is obsessed with and very knowledgeable about...video games. Computer, X-Box, Online, Wii...You name it, they play it. All day every day. It's all they think about. It's all they do. Dweebs are the grown-@$$ adults who live in Mom's basement and their "jobs" consist of part-time work for minimum wage. They use what little money they get from that job to pay for more video games and video game accessories.

These people have no social life outside of the virtual world. They can't hold a face-to-face conversation. Heaven forbid they ever go on a date! Dweebs are freeloading, anti-social, under-achievers. It's sad, really, when someone falls into Dweebism. It's not an easy lifestyle to pull out of. Don't be a dweeb. It's not worth it.
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Now, it is possible for these three labels to intersect.

Neeks: People who are smart and high-achieving, and then go to Comic-Con on a regular basis.

Gweebs:  People who are obsessed with one specific thing, and one or two video games--they still live in Mom's basement, but hold down a decent job and have a social life. (My own brother, "Mac", falls into the category of a gweeb. He's a good kid, really, and he wants to move out of Mom's basement, but he's still in college and can't afford it. Oh, and he needs to go on a freaking date!)

HOWEVER, it is important to note that you CAN NOT intersect Nerds and Dweebs. To try and combine them could possibly tear a hole in the delicate fabrics of the Universe and end life as we know it. They must forever remain separate, for the safety of humanity!
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So, now that you know the truth about these particular terms, what say you? Have you ever come across one of these people? Perhaps one of the cross-breeds? A Neek? A Gweeb, perhaps?

Be on the lookout for these interesting people. They could end up inventing the flying car (nerds), starting up a "Star Trek University" (geeks), or rotting away in a basement playing video games (dweebs). And now that you more fully understand these labels, you can start to use them properly. Teach your friends and families. We could change the world!