Many of my readers know that Ty and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary in New York last month. (Geez, it seems like FOREVER ago, doesn't it?)Anyway, while sitting on the airplane that would take us to the airport in Detroit, where we would board a plane back to Salt Lake City, I had a moment of clarity. It led to an epiphany that I simply HAVE to share with all of you.
Airlines operate on a system eerily similar to that of a preschool.
Now, before you just write me off as being completely and unequivocally off my rocker, hear me out! I've compiled a list of things that struck me as I squirmed with boredom and restlessness on that airplane.
1: Boarding Row By Row. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. "Delta Flight #### would like to welcome on board our first class passengers..." And then, about 20 minutes later: "Delta Flight #### would now like to welcome on board our passengers in Zone 79, Zone 79. Thank you!"
Doesn't this remind you of lining up, single file, waiting to go to recess or to go home at the end of the day? You know, the teacher would call out: "Alright, everyone who is wearing a red shirt, come and line up at the door..." Eventually, everyone's shirt color had been called, and then we'd all go out the door single file. Good times, right?
2: Assigned Seating. Everyone on an airplane has their own assigned seat. That seat number defines you in the hierarchy of the airplane. There are the First Class people, sitting in their extra large seats with all that extra leg room. They're the ones that pointedly look at anyone and anything other than the filthy Coach passengers that walk past them on the way to their seats in the back, behind the Curtain of Shame. This assigned seating arrangement is extremely important in the world of the airplane. Let's face it, if they just let everyone pick their own seats, chaos would surely ensue. "Bludgeoned to death by crazed fellow airplane passenger while arguing over the window seat" would go WAY up on the list of bizarre accidental deaths across the entire world.
Assigned seats are vital to maintaining order in a classroom as well. There are those kids that get to sit right up front, by the teacher, getting all the attention. And there there are those that sit more towards the middle, content to be ignored. Then there are those kids who sit at the very back of the room and make as much trouble as they can. That's why the teacher sees fit to rotate these seats, assigning and reassigning them every month or so. Can you imagine if those preschoolers were left to their own devices while finding their seats? Kids would be coming home EVERY DAY with bloody noses, broken/dismembered limbs, and prematurely missing teeth. Assigned seating may not always seem to be fair to everyone, but it is all that separates us from the animals!
3: Forbidden Toys. There are certain devices that are not allowed to be used on an airplane. Guns of all kinds, bombs, and the most dangerous devices of all: Cell Phones. And then there are those items that you CAN use on the airplane, but only when you're already up in the air. Laptops, MP3's/iPods, and portable DVD players. You get yelled at if you're caught operating ANYTHING electronic once the pilot and flight attendants have told you to turn them off. If you turn them on before you've been given the OK, more yelling ensues.
In a preschool, kids are not allowed to bring toys from home at all, except on show and tell days, and even then their choices are limited. No guns, no toys that are too big to fit into their backpacks, and bombs aren't allowed there either. Coincidence? I think NOT!
4: Snack Time. Once the passengers have settled in and the pilot and his minions--er, I mean, Flight Attendants--have allowed them to start playing with their "Approved Electronic Devices" again, they start bringing around drinks and snacks for everyone. It's usually just sodas and pretzels or something similar to that, but it keeps the passengers happy.
It's pretty important to keep young kids fed. Without some sort of snack time in the middle of the day, they start to get pretty crabby and difficult to deal with, (much like airplane passengers...)
There are several more things I noticed during my epiphany, but they will not be listed in this post. Mainly because I've run out of mental steam. Therefore, I hereby issue a challenge to my readers:
In the comment section, (or in a post on your own blog, if you're so bold), finish my list for me. See what similarities between airlines and preschool you can find!
If you write your own post, be sure and leave me a comment about it so I can come over to your blog and read your ideas. Just be sure there are plenty of cookies and milk at your place when I get there.
Good luck, everyone! :)
Have you ever considered that it’s actually preschool that operates on a system eerily similar to airlines?
ReplyDelete*Waves hands mysteriously*
Drake: Brain. Just. Exploded. You're a genius!!!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I make a habit of being thoroughly medicated for any and all flights.
ReplyDeleteI don't handle flying well.
But the last time I flew was when I was nineteen, and it was the month before assigned seating was required. So I have nothing to add to any of this list.
Because I'm never conscious enough to really pay attention.
And for the record, it's not the flying part that I dislike. By all means, I like the being in the air and looking down part. I hate the taking off part. The only thing worse than taking off is landing.
I don't mind flying/take off/landing all that much. What drives me crazy is the lack of leg room. Sometimes I do get a bit motion sick when the pilot has to keep circling and circling and circling and circling before he can land. Not. Fun.
ReplyDeleteStowing your stuff in lockers is another parallel. Not getting up from your seat until the pilot/teacher tells you can.
ReplyDeleteand small children kicking seats.
Mynx: All very good ideas. Well done! Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteChanel mentions being medicated when she flies. Aren't all kids these days also medicated to some extent?
ReplyDeleteI actually have a working idea about how hockey games also have parallels to elementary school. Penalties and time outs for misbehavior and such. There's more, but it's my idea. I'll publish it later.
Safety PSAs. The initial safety demonstration is a lot like when the fire truck comes or when we cover "stop, drop, and roll."
ReplyDeleteBrent: I'm not sure ALL kids are medicated, but I can see your point. It seems like drugs have become the first resort rather than the last for troublesome behavior.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to reading your hockey/elementary school post. :)
Nicki: Very nice. I can also see a parallel in how VERY few of the airline passengers actually LISTEN to the safety demonstration (After the first time, anyway). It's a very nice tie-in to the short attention span of those cute little 4-year-olds. :)
Nicki.
**Disclaimer: The management apologizes for any random appearances of peoples' names at the end of previous comments.**
ReplyDeleteThey provide a pillow and blanket for "nap time" but you can never sleep, just like in pre-school.
ReplyDeleteBryan: Yeah, I think that "naptime" in preschool is more to preserve the teachers' sanity than anything else. Even if the kids aren't actually asleep, at least they're being relatively still and quiet. :)
ReplyDelete